Chuck Norris doesn't make typos.
Words simply stutter in his presence.
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Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook?
She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.
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Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time?
A: "How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions).
Q: What's grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall?
A: A tax accountant riding an elephant.
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?
A: Silicone chips.
Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated?
A: "Oh balls."
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How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart?
Her ears flap.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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