If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Why was the BLIND blonde sitting on newspaper? So she can lip read.
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
Q: What did I do in the bed last night. A: Your mom.
We have so many nationalities. It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there. It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.
Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.