What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Insufficient sand.
What do you call a show full of lions? The mane event.
I wouldn’t say that inflation is making my life difficult, but I’m now starving on an income I used to dream about.
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles? A: They can't get their heads in the jars.
Your nails are so long when you come around the corner the police arrested you for dangerous weapons.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when her batteries die, she buries them.