Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
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The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is fast that he stopped the Flash.
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Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
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Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
How do bulls drive their cars?
They steer them.