Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people.
He walks through them
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Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place?
Well, it could have been worse.
How?
There could have been more teams in the league!
Teacher: “How can you prove the earth is round?”
Boy: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
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Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
A blonde walked up to a man and said, "Give me your wallet."
The man said, "Okay, but give me the gun."
The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet.
The man used the gun to steal his wallet back.
The blonde said, "You're an idiot...there's no bullets in the gun."
The man replied, "You're the idiot...here's no money in the wallet."
Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"