What is a man's idea of helping with housework? Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
"Yo momma so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!"
Q: What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
"What is love, at last?" asks the dentist. And the cardiologist: "Love is a toothache.. but inside the heart!"
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: "Do you know where your going?" Blonde: "No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people are leaving.
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold? A: Sits around a candle Q: What does she do when it gets really cold? A: Lights it
Yo Mama is like a refrigerator. Meat goes in and out all day.
Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.