The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris.
He is now known as Harry Potter.
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Charlie Sheen winning?
Chuck Norris says "I think not."
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is fast that he stopped the Flash.
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Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
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Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers?
Bunny and Clyde.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
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Chuck Norris made this sentence finish.
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More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke.
Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."
"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"