The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.
Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
A man walks into a pharmacy and tells the salesgirl that he's looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him to the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?" "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure, if I have to roll my own, so does she."
Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? "The cop!"
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.