They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Bigamy is having one wife too many, but so is monogamy.
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
Q: Why do Jews have so big noses? A: Because the air is free.
If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.