Women are Angels.
And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...
On a broomstick.
We're flexible like that.
Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies, he played the force.
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If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
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When Chuck Norris logged in to WoW, everyone logged out.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
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Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance?
A: A late night.
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A truck was traveling through town.
When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. you're losing part of your load".
She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light.
She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. you're losing part of your load."
The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MA'AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK......."
In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit.
When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram.
However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim.
She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.