Q: What's grey has 6 legs, 2 arms and is twenty feet tall?
A: A tax accountant riding an elephant.
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke.
Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."
"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris.
His voice is still up there today.
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Standing in line at a restaurant, I noticed that the few available tables left had not been cleaned off.
I mentioned this to the cashier, who told the manager.
A minute later, an annoyed-looking teen emerged from the back with a spray bottle and paper towels in hand.
"All right," she bellowed clear across the crowded dining room, "which one of you people wanted a clean table?"
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Yo mama so fat when she climbed into the attic she fell into the basement.
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart?
Her ears flap.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
He actually does it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Q: How do you eat a frog?
A: You put one leg behind each ear.
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What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea?
One's a cunning runt.
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