What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
A man and his son went into a store. The kid picked a USA flag and told his dad: "Dad, I want this flag." The man tells him: "Nah, this looks too bright. Check if it's available in a different color."
Q: How do you make a tissue dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Good: Your daughter has got a new job. Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients. Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
Yo momma’s so fat, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master.
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.