Q: What's brown and taps on the window?
A: A baby in a microwave!
Yo mamma so fat the back of her neck looks like a 12 pack of hot dogs.
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't.
The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?"
The dog answers "ROOF."
The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying."
The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else".
The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time".
The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door.
As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?
A: The big hand touches the little one.
Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.
”Hey grandma, did you see my pills? They write LSD on the box outside!”
”Screw the pills, didn’t you see the dragons in the kitchen?”
Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids.
These kids are now known as the power rangers.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she visits the doctor, they need a forklift to get her on the examining table.
Chuck Norris invented half when he round house kicked the number 1
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.