One day Stan comes home from a hard day at work.
He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa.
So Stan goes over to his wife and starts fucking her from behind.
After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head.
His wife yells, ''What was that for!?''
To which Stan replies, ''That's for not checking to see who it was.''
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Vote:
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.
Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Vote:
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
Vote:
Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball bat.
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man?
Batman can go to the store without robin.
Vote:
Why should you never fart in an apple store?
They don't have Windows!
Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Answer: Pregnant.
What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A blowjob with handlebars.
What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?
Dough Nuts!