What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
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Yo mama's so skinny, she used a needle for a baseball bat.
The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
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Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
A blonde walked up to a man and said, "Give me your wallet."
The man said, "Okay, but give me the gun."
The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet.
The man used the gun to steal his wallet back.
The blonde said, "You're an idiot...there's no bullets in the gun."
The man replied, "You're the idiot...here's no money in the wallet."
Why should you never fart in an apple store?
They don't have Windows!
What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?
Dough Nuts!
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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