Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
A blonde walked up to a man and said, "Give me your wallet."
The man said, "Okay, but give me the gun."
The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet.
The man used the gun to steal his wallet back.
The blonde said, "You're an idiot...there's no bullets in the gun."
The man replied, "You're the idiot...here's no money in the wallet."
Twenty teams in the league and you are in the last place?
Well, it could have been worse.
How?
There could have been more teams in the league!
Teacher: “How can you prove the earth is round?”
Boy: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”
Why should you never fart in an apple store?
They don't have Windows!
What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?
Dough Nuts!
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Vote:
Question: What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Answer: Pregnant.
Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
Teacher: Who succeeded the first President of the USA?
Class: The second one!