Why do Mexicans cross the border in pairs?
Because it says "No Tres-Passing"
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about.
He asks his father for advice.
The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain.
Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list.
He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card.
He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up?
"Iraqi Army."
Me - Can you go to your moms room?
Friend - Yeah, why?
Me - I left my pants in there.
Friend - Fuck you!
My husband said he wanted more space.
So I locked him outside.
In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks.
On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club.
When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said:
"Mine is 10 inches long"
The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing:
"Here isn't a suitable place for you."
The porter said, "Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."
Vote:
Yo mama so fat all the McDonald's food are gone.
Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
Vote:
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
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