What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up?
"Iraqi Army."
Q: What is long and black?
A: An unemployment line
Vote:
Me - Can you go to your moms room?
Friend - Yeah, why?
Me - I left my pants in there.
Friend - Fuck you!
My husband said he wanted more space.
So I locked him outside.
In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks.
On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club.
When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said:
"Mine is 10 inches long"
The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing:
"Here isn't a suitable place for you."
The porter said, "Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."
Vote:
Yo mama so fat all the McDonald's food are gone.
Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
Vote:
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
Vote:
There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
Vote:
A medical student is driving home on a narrow country road in the middle of the night after his shift in the hospital.
The weather is terrible.
It's raining cats and dogs.
Suddenly a motorbike is screaming by with very high speed.
"Jesus Crhist! What an idiot! He will crash if he doesn't slow down!"
A few minutes later he spotted in his headlights on the side of the road the torn up motorbike against a big tree.
He stopped and quickly jumped out of his car to see in he can give first aid.
But it's to late.
The biker is already dead.
He looked around if there is anyone around. Nobody to see.
The student thouhgt "This is the oppertunity to finally obtain a real human eye!"
He always carryrna spoon and a glass eye in his pocket for an opperunity like this.
He quickly removes the left eye and places the glass eye in the socket.
One quick look around and he jumps in his car and races off.
The next morning when he wakes up he turned on the tv and watches the news.
It said: "Biker found dead on country road with 2 glass eyes."