Yo mama is so ugly she reminds me SUN, is hard to look at her. 
A guy walks into a store.
He goes up to the clerk and holds up his hand.
In his hand he's holding a big pile of crap.
He looks at the clerk with the biggest expression of relief and says, "Whew, that was close. Look what I almost stepped in."
Vote:
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
Chuck Norris was the original star of "24."
It was called "1."
Vote:
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?
Cows-mopolitan!
What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner?
Cow chow.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get?
"Beeflt!"
What US state has the most cows?
Moosouri.