When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
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Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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Chuck Norris is ambidextrous.
He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg.
All at the same time.
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
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