When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
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Love does not conquer all.
Chuck Norris does.
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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