If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women?
A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.
Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.
When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
Two blonde football fans are walking along the road when one of them picks up a mirror.
He looks in it and says, 'Hey, I know that person!'
The second one picks it up and says, 'Of course you do, you idiot, it's me'.
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health."
So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money.
It was my grandfather.
What's the difference between a rooster and your mom?
A rooster says cockadoodledoo, Your mom says anycockledoo.