Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite? A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
Your mama's so stupid she tripped over a line on a basketball court.