Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
A blonde walked up to a man and said, "Give me your wallet."
The man said, "Okay, but give me the gun."
The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet.
The man used the gun to steal his wallet back.
The blonde said, "You're an idiot...there's no bullets in the gun."
The man replied, "You're the idiot...here's no money in the wallet."
Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
Companies are working on a camera which has such a fast shutter speed that it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut. Advance Booking open!
Why does ET have such big eyes?
He saw the phone bill.
Chuck Norris Avenged the Avengers.
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled,
"A crocodile, a crocodile!"
The woman woke up and asked,
"Where, where?"
A man cried again,
"O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer.
"Sorry I cant serve you," states the barman.
"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.
"Youre under 18," replies the barman.
Q: What do u call a police officer that works in bed?
A: A undercover cop.
After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news:
“Honey, we’ve finally saved enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979.”
“You mean a brand-new Cadillac?” she asked eagerly.
“No,” said the husband, “a 1979 Cadillac.