They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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A blonde buys a used sports car.
However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop.
The blonde calls a tow truck.
The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again.
"What was the matter?" she asks.
"Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies.
Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
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Whats faster than a black person stealing your car?
Him driving away in it.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
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Q: When will scientists cure the common cold?
A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
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Why are niggers like sperm?
Only 1 in a Million actually works
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One simply cannot play fair and win in a zoo - there are way too many cheetahs.
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation.
If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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