How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
Yo mama's so technologically unsavvy, she leaves out pieces of cheese next to the computer!
This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations. It’s true. My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.
Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.
Yo' Mama is so poor, her tv only has two channels: on and not working.
Yo momma’s so fat, her driver’s license says, ‘Picture continued on other side’.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
A stewardess approaches a passenger on a flight. ‘Would you care for an orange juice, sir?’ The passenger replies, ‘Sure, if it needed me.’
A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car's radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner." No one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off the corner!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," replied the veteran, "especially since this is a bus stop."