Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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There was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "Doctor I have a fever”"
The doctor said, "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine."
The sick one said, "but doctor, I only have 3 spoons what shall I do?"
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
Your mama's so stupid she tripped over a line on a basketball court.
Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris.
He is now known as Harry Potter.
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A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing:
"He's such a sensitive child.
Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."