Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
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One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!”
The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
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When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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Yo mama is so poor that she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.
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Q: What do Barbie and Paris Hilton have in common?
A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.
A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight.
"I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor.
I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?"
"Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative.
Please take off your clothes."
The man strips down.
The doctor pulls all his skin upwards and ties it in a ball above his head.
"But doctor -- now my navel is in the middle of my forehead!"
"True," replies the doctor, "and you should see what you have for a collar and tie."