Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet. That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
There was a guy that was sick he went to the doctor and said "Doctor I have a fever”" The doctor said, "you will have to take 4 spoons of the medicine." The sick one said, "but doctor, I only have 3 spoons what shall I do?"
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
Your mama's so stupid she tripped over a line on a basketball court.
Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris. He is now known as Harry Potter.
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."