Whats faster than a black person stealing your car?
Him driving away in it.
Q: When will scientists cure the common cold?
A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
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If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.
How do snails get their shells all shiny?
They use snail polish.
Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines.
They have footprints.
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Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
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What does a cannibal eat with cheese?
Pickled organs.
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First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!"
Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people."
First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
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Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?
A: He drowned in his own tea pe
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Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
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