Q: When will scientists cure the common cold?
A: Actually, they already did but Republican pharmacists won't dispense it because they mistook it for birth control.
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If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.
How do snails get their shells all shiny?
They use snail polish.
Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines.
They have footprints.
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Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
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What does a cannibal eat with cheese?
Pickled organs.
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First cannibal: "I can't find anything to eat!"
Second cannibal: "But the jungle's full of people."
First cannibal: "Yes, but they're all very unsavory."
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Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
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One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!”
The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
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When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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