Yo mama so old when she raised her eyebrows they fell off.
How can you make a gay man scream twice?
Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not.
I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud, "I wonder why?"
The blonde replied, "Must be because the oil would suffocate them."
A deer hunter just messed up another hunt.
This happened to him more times than he could count.
He would spot a buck, aim, fire and miss.
He would sneak up close just to get busted and watch the deer run away.
He would sneeze just as the buck came into range.
He would fall asleep on the stand, waking in time to watch a giant buck scamper away.
Frustrated, he complained to his hunting buddies.
"Everything that happens to guys that don't know how to hunt keeps happening to me!" he said.
How did the tugboat get AIDS?
It was rear-ended by a ferry.
Yo mama so loose...when she walks down the street her pussy claps!
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar?
He got bombed.
Chuck Norris became famous when he coached the American rugby and America won the fifa world cup.
Little Johnny returns from school and says:
"Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!"
"But I hope you are not writing them, my son."
"No, I'm dictating them!"
Why don't blondes like to breastfeed their babies?
It hurts to boil their nipples!