Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
Vote:
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump.
"Well, go in the bushes."
"What should I use to wipe my ass?"
"Use a dollar bill."
A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands.
"What happened?" asks his friend.
"I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
Vote:
Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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If men got pregnant.... abortion would be available in convenience stores and drive-through windows.
Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
Your mama's so stupid she tripped over a line on a basketball court.