Q. Why did the ant fall off the toilet seat? A. Because he was pissed off!
When President Roosevelt dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, he did so only because it was more human then sending Chuck Norris.
‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Q: What have condoms and tires in common? A: Good year.
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
Johnny Walks in his parents room finding his dad with his dick in his mom's pussy. Johnny asks his dad " Can realatives Have babies if they fuck?" "Of course not johnny" his dad replied. the very next day johnny was his room stuffing his dick in his 14 year old's pussy and humping her. "ohhhhh Johnny! Fuck Me Harder!" his sister yelled. I am! johnny said. then his sister gave johnny a blowjob to make his dick bigger. "Now I Can Fuck Better!" said Little Johnny. Then Johnny Fucked His Sister How He Saw His Dad Doing To His Mom. Then his parents came into his room and his mom saw his huge cock and said "Johnny That Sure Is Big! "Well Your Next Mom!" Johnny replied
Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’