One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were stuck on an island 100 miles away from civilization. The only way to get home was to swim. The brunette swam 50 miles before drowning. The redhead swam 64 miles before getting attacked by a shark. The blonde went 99 miles but got tried a swam back to the island.
Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn? A: To buy some quack.
What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex? A. They mark the sheep that kick!
What did the dog say to the hot dog bun? "Are you pure bred?"
What looks like half a cat? The other half.
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.
A Bosnian catches a goldfish. The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish." The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."