The best animal jokes

Q: What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill A: A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.
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has 25.61 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, racist, white people
A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. 
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" "
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" 
 The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)
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has 24.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse, old people
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests. A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer. "Get to work," the store-keeper urged. "I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared. When this had been provided: "Now give me a quart of whiskey." Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly: "Now show me the cellar." An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store. His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted: "Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, money
Why did the chicken cross the road? So he can make you curious.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Little Billy looks at the chimpanzees from the zoo. Mama, little Billy shouts, this monkey looks like our neighbour, Mr. Danny. Billy, it’s not polite to talk like that! Why? The chimpanzee doesn’t understand...
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
How to catch a polar bear: Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond. Cut a large hole in the ice. Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file. Hide behind a nearby rock. When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex? A. They mark the sheep that kick!
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, "I sure wish I could do that." The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise? A zebra with a drum kit.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
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