What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex?
A. They mark the sheep that kick!
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
Vote:
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse?
A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
What do you call fish poop?
BassTurds!
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"