Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers?
From professional courtesy.
What did the idiot call his pet zebra?
Spot!
My cat can talk.
I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
I'm not paying," said the duck.
"I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop.
They hide in potato sacks.
The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside?
A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila?
Tyrannosaurus Mex.