I had to go round next door and look after my neighbour’s cat while he was away.
Now there’s a great pile of crap and a puddle of wee on his kitchen floor.
Hopefully, he’ll think the cat did it.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
A caterpillar!
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers?
From professional courtesy.
What did the idiot call his pet zebra?
Spot!
My cat can talk.
I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop.
They hide in potato sacks.
The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!