The best animal jokes

A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. 
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" "
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" 
 The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)
Vote:
has 25.91 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse, old people
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.
Vote:
has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue. Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand. The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
Vote:
has 25.67 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila? Tyrannosaurus Mex.
Vote:
has 25.67 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
Vote:
has 25.64 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers? A: They have two left feet.
Vote:
has 25.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests. A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer. "Get to work," the store-keeper urged. "I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared. When this had been provided: "Now give me a quart of whiskey." Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly: "Now show me the cellar." An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store. His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted: "Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"
Vote:
has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, money
What's black and white and green? A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Vote:
has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Vote:
has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the gag-writer turn green? Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
Vote:
has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
<<<143144145146
More jokes →
Page 143 of 153.