Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue.
Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand.
The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
When does a female deer need money?
When she doesnt have a buck.
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls.
They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"
The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting.
When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump.
My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."
"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.
"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered.
But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.
He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside?
A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat.
When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat.
Sorry...