A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" " The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk? A: The utter side.
There are two types of ostriches - Grey and Blue. Grey ones scared hide their head in the sand. The Blue ones sit in the bushes waiting for this moment.
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila? Tyrannosaurus Mex.
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
Q: Why are dogs such bad dancers? A: They have two left feet.
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests. A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer. "Get to work," the store-keeper urged. "I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared. When this had been provided: "Now give me a quart of whiskey." Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly: "Now show me the cellar." An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store. His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted: "Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"
What's black and white and green? A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Why did the gag-writer turn green? Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!