The best animal jokes

A man is walking through a park when he steps in a pile of dog mess. He pauses to wipe his shoe on the grass and sees another man step into the same pile. ‘I just did that,’ says the man, so the other man rubs his nose in it.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards. ‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man. ‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players. ‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
I had to go round next door and look after my neighbour’s cat while he was away. Now there’s a great pile of crap and a puddle of wee on his kitchen floor. Hopefully, he’ll think the cat did it.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
What looks like half a cat? The other half.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.
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has 24.61 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
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has 24.38 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, stupid, Yo mama
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight beers.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, beer
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered. But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, sport
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