Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
Me: Hey look its Nemo! Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish. Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were having a conversation one fine Sunday evening. One remarked to the other, ‘I got a new hearing device and it works fine?' The second said, ‘oh yes, my grandchildren just love the gifts of my choice.' The third one who noticed the hearing device in the ear of the first one asked, what kind is it?' The one with the brand new hearing device answered ‘about 6 O'clock'. All three of them looked up in the birds in the sky and said, "Birds of the same feather ‘flock' together."
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She’s got that down-in-the-mouth look.
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
Why did the frog cross the street? Because the chicken crossed the road.
The little snail begs for his mother: Mother, please let me pass the rail road! Thunder dear, not now. In five hours the train passes.
Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker? A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
So...I had this rabbit that died of heatstroke after a week and I didn't have a time to name it. So after it died and was on my lap the name came to me...I'll call it floppy!
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone? It was out of odor!