How does a frog confuse you? When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers? Tyrannosaurus Hex.
Make the world your playground. Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps. If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do. When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up. Always find a good patch of sun to nap in. Nap often. When in trouble, just purr and look cute. Life is hard, and then you nap. Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours. Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy. Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there. Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner. Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
How do you get a hundred cows in a barn? You hang up a bingo sign!
Law of Pill Rejection Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
What to polar bears eat for lunch? (Ice berg-ers!)
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla? An animal that puts you out at night.
Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.