Q. What's black and white and green?
A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny?
He keeps coming and coming and coming...
Vote:
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire?
A: He got arrested just like you would've.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
Why did the dinosaur have so few friends?
Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
What do you call fish poop?
BassTurds!
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests.
A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer.
"Get to work," the store-keeper urged.
"I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared.
When this had been provided:
"Now give me a quart of whiskey."
Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly:
"Now show me the cellar."
An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store.
His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted:
"Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"