‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’ Sue Murphy
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
My cat can talk. I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
Q. What's black and white and green? A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? He liked a good croak and dagger.
How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?
Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila? Tyrannosaurus Mex.
The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree. Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them: Who pulled out this tree from his root? Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.
Why God did made the snake before lawyers? To exercise.