The little snail begs for his mother:
Mother, please let me pass the rail road!
Thunder dear, not now.
In five hours the train passes.
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers?
From professional courtesy.
What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers?
Tyrannosaurus Hex.
How to catch a polar bear:
Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond.
Cut a large hole in the ice.
Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file.
Hide behind a nearby rock.
When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
I can teach my cat any trick he wants to do!
What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.