Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick.
One man said, "I sure wish I could do that."
The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night.
I've been trying to find the right time to tell my pet hes adopted...
Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement?
A: Hold a tupperware party!
I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat.
When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat.
Sorry...
A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit.
She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?"
A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?"
The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn?
A: To buy some quack.
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop.
They hide in potato sacks.
The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
Q. What did the frog say to the fly?
A. You are really starting to bug me!