‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’
Sue Murphy
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
My cat can talk.
I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
Q. What's black and white and green?
A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
How about we spank each other and call ourselves even?
Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA?
It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila?
Tyrannosaurus Mex.
The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree.
Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them:
Who pulled out this tree from his root?
Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.
Why God did made the snake before lawyers?
To exercise.