Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So he can make you curious.
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex?
A. They mark the sheep that kick!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick.
One man said, "I sure wish I could do that."
The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
I've been trying to find the right time to tell my pet hes adopted...
Q: How do you get ten fat cows in your basement?
A: Hold a tupperware party!