One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
What's pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.
What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A cherry float.