Why did Hitler committed a suicide? He received the bill from Gazprom.
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor." "But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!
Q: What does FUBU really stand for? A: Farmers used to buy us.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working? A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.
When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough. Someone started talking about fighting -- 'No, man, I've got to go home.'