"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor."
"But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
Vote:
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote:
Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?
A: I haven't seen you for a year!
Vote:
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Vote:
I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
Vote:
Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working?
A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
Vote:
Are you lost, ma'am?
Because Heaven's a long way from here.
Vote:
Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
Vote:
A: How do children in Baghdad do?
A: Bombastically.
Q: What does FUBU really stand for?
A: Farmers used to buy us.
Vote: