"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor."
"But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
Vote:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
BOOM!!!
Vote:
I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
Vote:
Are you lost, ma'am?
Because Heaven's a long way from here.
Vote:
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Vote:
Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
Vote:
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred?
On the fingers!
Vote:
Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
Vote:
What do you call of 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Vote:
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven.
And everyone who goes to heaven has to work.
God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies.
Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out.
For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired.
As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."