John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter. He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan.
An Asian walks into a McDonald's and says, "I'll Have An Eggroll and Some Fry Rye." "I'm sorry sir we don't serve that. Would you like anything else?" "I have quarter pounder. And when would you like to pick that up...Hiroshima!"
Q: Why did cow cross road? A: To find to the udder side.
Two clones are on a roof. One clone pushes the other clone off. The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
If you want to feed an injured woodpecker, take it by the tail and hit it to the tree.