Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough. Someone started talking about fighting -- 'No, man, I've got to go home.'
What do you call of 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day. It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
Knock knock. Who's there? Allahu Akbar. Allahu AK- BOOM!!!
What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan.
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"? A: He got crucified