A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!", the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
A blonde goes into a kitchen store and says to an assistant "Can i buy that TV please?" The assistant says "Sorry we don't serve blondes." So the blonde goes out and gets her hair dyed and then comes back and says, "Excuse me can i buy that TV please?" and the assistant says "No, because we still know who you are." So the blonde goes out and gets plastic surgery. She then comes back and says "Excuse me, can I buy that TV please?" and the assistant says, "No, because it's a microwave!"
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? "Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod...
An old man asks a blond: If a guy would try to rape you, will you scream for help? If he can’t manage me by himself off course!
How do you keep a blonde busy all day? Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.
How does a blonde commit suicide? She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Most men regard blondes as a golden opportunity.
Q: What do you call a blonde sitting in the back of your 6th grade class? A: your 25 year old mom.