Why did the blonde have square boobs? She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy". The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? "Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
What would you do if a Blonde threw a hand grenade right at you? "Just pull the pin and throw it back."
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
Q. Why don't blondes eat Jello? A. They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were asked where they would like to go. The brunette said she would like to go to Mars. The redhead said she would like to go to Venus. The blonde said she would like to go to the Sun. "But you would burn up", said the brunette. "Well, I would go at night. Duh", said the blonde.
Q: Why won't they hire a blonde pharmacist? A: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
How can you tell if a blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.
How many blondes does it take to make a circuit? Two. One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!