Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic