Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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Chuck Norris broke the law once.
It still isn’t fixed.
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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room.
The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
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