Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.