When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
Did u know Chuck Norris had a role in star wars. He was the force.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.