Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris broke the law once. It still isn’t fixed.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.