Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.
He simply decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.