The best Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Vote: has 83.82 % from 187 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
Vote: has 83.81 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Vote: has 83.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
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What every sports player should say after winning? "First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
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Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Vote: has 83.54 % from 112 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
Vote: has 83.53 % from 402 votes. Send joke:

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Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Vote: has 83.48 % from 467 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris