The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
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has 84.71 % from 332 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The Universe is not expanding. It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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has 84.71 % from 310 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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has 84.71 % from 183 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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has 84.71 % from 419 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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has 84.70 % from 295 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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has 84.66 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
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has 84.63 % from 424 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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has 84.61 % from 337 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
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has 84.59 % from 921 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, political
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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has 84.57 % from 458 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
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