Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table