The best Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
Vote: has 83.40 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
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Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
Vote: has 83.29 % from 174 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
Vote: has 83.29 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Vote: has 83.21 % from 381 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Vote: has 83.20 % from 433 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Vote: has 83.18 % from 138 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 83.18 % from 504 votes. Send joke:

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