Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
What every sports player should say after winning? "First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.