Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris broke the law once. It still isn’t fixed.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.