The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Vote: has 79.52 % from 246 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
Vote: has 79.52 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

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The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
Vote: has 79.45 % from 112 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face. We now have questions.
Vote: has 79.44 % from 129 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
Vote: has 79.41 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Vote: has 79.35 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Vote: has 79.35 % from 162 votes. Send joke:

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There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Vote: has 79.28 % from 88 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Vote: has 79.24 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

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Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 79.24 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

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