Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
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Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris threw rocks into the ocean and named them Hawaii
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His shoe.
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Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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