The best Chuck Norris jokes

Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 79.24 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
Vote: has 79.24 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
Vote: has 79.24 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

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Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 79.22 % from 122 votes. Send joke:

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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Vote: has 79.06 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Vote: has 78.95 % from 175 votes. Send joke:

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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
Vote: has 78.93 % from 191 votes. Send joke:

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If Chuck Norris was a spartan the movie would be called "1".
Vote: has 78.83 % from 174 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
Vote: has 78.74 % from 325 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Vote: has 78.68 % from 194 votes. Send joke:

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