Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe. It's now called Shakey's.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.