Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. 
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor exclaimed, "It's a man!"
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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Chuck Norris can fall up.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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