The best Chuck Norris jokes

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 80.75 % from 126 votes. Send joke:

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If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Vote: has 80.74 % from 233 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Vote: has 80.73 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Vote: has 80.72 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil. It couldn't keep up.
Vote: has 80.69 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

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Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 80.65 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

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When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
Vote: has 80.61 % from 167 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
Vote: has 80.60 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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