Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
Chuck Norris can make a rock grow.
Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Chuck Norris once entered a black hole just to see what was in it. Dissapointed, he then walked out.
Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.