Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. Now they are pregnant.
At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods. He is now known as Shrek.
The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.