Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil. It couldn't keep up.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.