The best Chuck Norris jokes

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
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Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley. We know it today as Death Valley.
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