Chuck Norris created the World Wide Web using a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
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It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids.
The results came back positive.
When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
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