Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
The Guinness Book of World Records is actually Chuck Norris' elementary school report card.
Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley. We know it today as Death Valley.