Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.