Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris once entered a black hole just to see what was in it. Dissapointed, he then walked out.
Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
If Chuck Norris met Dora the Explorer, he'd introduce her to his Boots.