You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.