The best Chuck Norris jokes

You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
Vote: has 79.85 % from 149 votes. Send joke:

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A cop once pulled Chuck Norris over...Luckily, the cop left only with a warning.
Vote: has 79.74 % from 131 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Vote: has 79.58 % from 147 votes. Send joke:

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When you die on Earth you go to hell. When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
Vote: has 79.58 % from 147 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
Vote: has 79.56 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

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The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
Vote: has 79.53 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

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Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
Vote: has 79.52 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
Vote: has 79.48 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
Vote: has 79.47 % from 163 votes. Send joke:

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
Vote: has 79.39 % from 140 votes. Send joke:

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