Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
For every victim of a Chuck Norris round house kick, there is a star. As you can see, there are a lot.
Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
Chuck Norris doesn't flirt all he says is NOW.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.