James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
Chuck Norris has no need to walk. The universe simply moves around him.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.