The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.

They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.

Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.

Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.

Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.

Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"

Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.