The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris is a fact.
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Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
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Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
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The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
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