The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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Chuck Norris can't get a riddle wrong. The riddle can only have the wrong answer.
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Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
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Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
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Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
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Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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