The best Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
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If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Chuck Norris is the only person that can deliver a roundhouse kick in full 1080p, remember that the next time you watch Walker Texas Ranger in Blu-Ray.
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"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.
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