Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.