The best Chuck Norris jokes

Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
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A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris hates Raymond.
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Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow. No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
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Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
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