The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, stupid
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
If Chuck Norris was a villian in a video game, you'll never win. But if he was the hero, it's unplayable; because no one controls Chuck Norris.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dinosaur
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Chuck Norris one checked the Library of Congress for typos during his lunch hour.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
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