Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
Chuck Norris knows the value of NULL, and he can sort by it too.
They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!