The best Chuck Norris jokes

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Facebook hides it's privacy from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has never won a single fight. Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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It takes courage to say YES at the altar. It takes even more courage to say NO to Chuck Norris.
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There is no such things as a tornado. Just Chuck Norris proving that ballet ain't that hard.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather