The best Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
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More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death, travel, winter
They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
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Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
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Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, work
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, time


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