Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
What does the fox say? Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
The fact that the evil killer doll from the movie 'Child's play' is named 'Chucky' is not a coincidence.
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.