Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.
When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast.
Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.