The best Chuck Norris jokes

There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
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Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, work
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon. After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon. It was a tough choice...
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How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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