There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon. After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon. It was a tough choice...
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.