According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
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Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
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Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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