The best Chuck Norris jokes

According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan. When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
Chuck Norris can eat just one pringle.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geography
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Vote:
has 60.14 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Vote:
has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
<<<124125126127
More jokes →
Page 124 of 250.