Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean. The sharks headed for land.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.