Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created. 
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Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
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Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies, he played the force.
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In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
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Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
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