The best Chuck Norris jokes

Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
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Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph. Why? Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap. When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone