Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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