Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
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Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
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Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.
The weights do.
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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
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Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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