The best Chuck Norris jokes

For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling. He already knows the outcome.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.
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When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
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