Chuck Noris once got his blood tested. His blood type was AK-47.
They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
Chuck Norris doesn't fall, he merely tests the durability of the floor with his face.
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.