Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph. Why? Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap. When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
Charlie Sheen winning? Chuck Norris says "I think not."
If it were true that you are what you eat. Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.
How much white out does Chuck Norris use? Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.