The best Chuck Norris jokes

Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph. Why? Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap. When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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Charlie Sheen winning? Chuck Norris says "I think not."
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If it were true that you are what you eat. Then you are about to be a roundhouse kick.
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How much white out does Chuck Norris use? Don't be silly - Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
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Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
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Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.
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