Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
Chuck Norris protects his airbag in an accident.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies, he played the force.
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.