Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Wherever you go, Chuck Norris will already be there.
Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
Chuck Norris can unlock a hairpin with a door.
Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.