Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding. Chuck gave him a warning.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.