The best Chuck Norris jokes

The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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Q: Why are there prairies? A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris hates Raymond.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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Chuck Norris is not impressed with your facts...
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