Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.