Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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What's the last thing that goes through your mind when you fight Chuck Norris?
His foot.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
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There are no comets.
Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
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