Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
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Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
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Chuck Norris doesn't make typos.
Words simply stutter in his presence.
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Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
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If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
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The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
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