Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris. It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.