The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.
Dragons watch a movie called 'How to train your Chuck Norris.'
Chuck Norris terrorizes terrorism.
Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.