Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.
Dragons watch a movie called 'How to train your Chuck Norris.'
Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
Chuck Norris terrorizes terrorism.
Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.