Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.
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If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
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Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
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If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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After Chuck Norris was born, he drove himself back home.
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Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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