Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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Some people break the laws of the state, Chuck Norris breaks the laws of physics.
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The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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