Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
Chuck Norris made Journey stop beleiving.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.