The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind. The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling. He already knows the outcome.
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
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Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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