Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
Chuck Norris bunked school one day. Till today that day is known as Sunday.
Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
Charles isn't in charge. Chuck is!
Chuck Norris made the llama extinct. Never spit in his face.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam. Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.