Chuck Norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
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Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week.
The man was missing for four and a half years.
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