Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
Chuck Norris was the image used for Papa Smurf.
Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear. The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.