The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
Chuck Norris once was pulled over by a policeman for speeding. Chuck gave him a warning.
Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
Chuck Norris decided 50 years of Micheal Jackson was enough