A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
If Chuck Norris were to get into a fight with another Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win.
Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.