The best Chuck Norris jokes

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right? Well he's currently making his third attempt.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam. Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
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Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
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Chuck Norris has his own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken. It´s Chuck Norris´s leg. He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.
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When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
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