Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Chuck Norris knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.