Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas. He just hired Chuck Norris.