In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
Dragons watch a movie called 'How to train your Chuck Norris.'
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.