The best Chuck Norris jokes

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
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Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
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If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
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Dragons watch a movie called 'How to train your Chuck Norris.'
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Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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