The best Chuck Norris jokes

If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
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Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
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Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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Chuck Norris can mute silence.
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
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What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
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