Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer?
He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
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Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
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They say terror?
Look at Chuck.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hell.
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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