The best Chuck Norris jokes

In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
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Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons. None of it is his own.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
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When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he forced his mum to eat her vegetables!
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.
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