The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
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When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.
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Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
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A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, heaven
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
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Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, sport