The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris were to get into a fight with another Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win.
Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.