Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.
Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.