The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
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Freds voice is high because Chuck Norris kicked him in the nuts.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer.
He gave the world Stonehenge.
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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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