Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever? A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Chuck Norris can win a game of chess by saying "Yahtzee!"
Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.