Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
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Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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